I keep putting off writing. I have this overwhelming desire to write each day but never do anything. I desire to write yet I still procrastinate because nothing is good enough. I put it off because I don't have the perfectly formulated plan or good enough words at the moment. Honestly maybe it is fear that holds me back but mostly I keep thinking I don't have a good enough blog site, enough readers or the perfect words. You get the idea, don't you?
The end of December 2021 I moved into the city limits of my small community. No more country scenery with animals or 1/2 acre garden beds to tend to. I have mourned the loss of living in the county but in the last three months I have seen the abundance of good in moving to my new home. It has allowed my husband and I to become debt free, we are in a beautiful home that has a lot of character that actually reminds me of a English Cottage and I will still have a raised bed garden to tend to. The scale of my new garden will be much better for my aging back and still satisfy my longing to grow food. It has been a journey these past few months and God is reminding me that following His calling doesn't keep us in our comfort zones. When my husband and I decided we were to move it was not comfortable. If you have moved ever moved your family you know what I mean. So all this leads me to my feelings of not good enough. He moves us to walk by faith and that is never easy. It is uncomfortable and writing is taking me out of my comfort zone.
Why do I feel this way if I know God moved me from a good place to an even better place?
He moved me from a good and comfortable place to use me. I am not saying where I am now is not good or comfortable but God knew what I needed. There are things I think I lack when I compare my writing or blog to others but God uses us where we are to grow us like the garden grows. Seeds breaking through the ground towards the light. Little by little the outer shell is broken and then we grow. We need practice doing anything. I need to practice writing and do it whether or not anyone reads, comments or gives a thumbs up or a heart. LOL.
My goal is to keep my focus on the goodness of Jesus not focus on what isn't perfect or good enough. I believe in the confidence of Jesus, I call it Christ confidence. Things change and God has shown me over the last few years as the world around us has drastically changed but He never does. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10) My mind is where satan can easily find a way to sabatoge my confidence. I don't want to allow Him to snatch my joy. Staying in The Word keeps me able to hear Jesus speak to my spirit. I need that to stay this course. I am thankful for His security and abundant love everyday. (John 10:28) I saw this quote from Phylicia Masonheimers blog this week and it really spoke to how I feel. "May His abundance never scare you" Yes and Amen! I am not ever going to feel good enough but Jesus is! He is the reason I am here writing now.
This has encouraged me just getting these thoughts onto the screen. I want to continue to encourage you that our eyes can be blind to the work of God around us if we are too focused on ourselves. This self centered view I have had for months has paralyzed me from doing anything. I said at the beginning I have been putting off writing because nothing felt good enough. Well, I stopped seeing myself and started seeing that God is good enough. Jesus came to earth as the Good Shepherd to share the gospel with people who saw Him and some who did not. I am grateful He has given my heart eyes to see Him and ears to hear Him and His Word to share with you.
Share with me what is holding you back from doing something God is calling you to?
Bless you friend
tracy
