I surrendered to God’s call to save my soul when I was a teenager. I believed Jesus could send me to heaven but I ran from His amazing grace for a long time. I had not surrendered every part of my life to Him. Crazy to say that out loud yet how many of us can say this as well? I still wanted to live by the worlds standards.
I needed to learn how to surrender my will to Gods will. I had to learn my belief in Christ meant that I was to walk in His Spirit, trust His ways and those ways are better than my ways.
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
Galatians 5:16-17 ESV
I was taught growing up to be in control of my life. You can do whatever you set your mind to but you must work hard to do it all of which rely on me. Hard work was natural for me. What I wasn’t natural was to rely totally on Jesus. I believed He had my eternity covered BUT the here and now I wasn’t so sure about. I wasn’t surrendering every area of my life. My knowledge of God at this point in my life was what others had told me not my own first hand knowledge of the Word of God.
I wasn’t living like I believed God. My marriage after many hurtful fights felt hopeless and my parenting felt like I failed my children in many ways.
My total trust wasn’t in Jesus Christ for reassurance a d healing.
It was in what I had trusted and clung to for a very long time, control. I would continue for a long time believe in what I could control around me or if I worked harder everything would work out.
It was such a turning point in my life when I totally surrendered control to God. I was at the end of myself. I broke down in tears of exhaustion. I prayed to God for help. I felt the weakest I have ever felt yet the strongest I have ever felt in my life. God answered in His time and He healed what felt broken beyond repair in my marriage. He told me I was the parent for these children no matter what choices they make you did the best you knew how. He still loved me and wanted fellowship with me.
Not having control over situations is a terrible feeling for someone like me who thrived off control. In my prayers I heard God whispering come to me, “I have always been here.” Give it all to me.”
When I finally surrendered to Gods authority on my life I received His sweet gift of grace. I listened to the Spirit, I couldn’t get enough of God, His Word and His transforming power. I saw the strongholds fall in my life fall one by one and finally felt freedom standing in the middle of His amazing grace. You see I was saved at a young age but I ran from surrendering everything to my Savior. As I leaned from reading and learning who God is the people of Israel in the OT I could see myself. I saw my strongholds and heart sickness I lived with for so long. God never gave up on His people then and He doesn’t today. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)
Today is has been a daily surrender and dying to self and I hope you will join me in this. I would love to hear your stories of surrender and listening to the Spirit. -𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘺
Tag me in your testimony #knitthegospelintoyourheart
